Q. Why Bascombe?
A. When I was a lad, there was a very eccentric old gentleman living in West Yellowstone, Montana. His name was Dave Bascombe. He was a humourist and had a pen name of Milford "Stanley" Poltroon. He is responsible for approximately 25% of my sense of humour all by himself, so to honour him I have taken the pen name, "Stanley Bascombe".
Q. Why do you use the European spelling on words like "colour" or "humour"?
A. Because I'm pretentious.
Q. What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
A. The appropriate response would be, "What do you mean? African or European swallow?" The reason for this question, however is to introduce the faire reader to the English comedy troupe Monty Python, who account for at least another 25% of my sense of humour.
Q. What makes you think you are interesting enough for readers of blogs to spend their time reading yours?
A. I don't. Next question.
Q. How do you wish to be buried?
A. I wish to be buried in an olde fashioned "Toe Pincher" coffin. At my viewing, or wake, I'd like the coffin to be propped up at approximately a 60 degree angle (kind of like the old outlaws were in the old west). I'd also like to be taken to the cemetery in an old horse drawn hearse. I'd also like to have a New Orleans style Jazz band playing a dirge at the cemetery until they start filling up the hole, and then I'd like raucous, celebratory music to be played at that point. If I can't have that, I'd like to be buried on a scaffold the way the Plains Tribes did, and let the ravens pick my bones clean.
Q. What do you wish to be on your grave marker?
A. I wish my grave marker to be a pile of rocks, stacked in a cairn. Somewhere on the cairn, in addition to the regular bits of when I was born and died and all that crap, I'd like it to say "No One of Consequence." One of my daughters has raised objections to that.
Q. What is your favourite colour?
Q. What is your favourite day of the year?
Q. What is your least favourite day of the year?
A. My birthday
Q. What do you want for Christmas?
A. A full size Leg Lamp