Saturday, June 5, 2010

How my Dad died

My Dad was larger than life.  Everybody who knew him knew that.  It was funny too, that at his funeral several people almost argued over which one of them was my Dad's favorite.  The truth was that they all were.  Dad had the singular ability to make anyone he met feel special and important.

He was an actor and a director of plays.  He was quite the showman.  Whenever he entered the room, it always seemed a little brighter around him.

Several years ago, Dad survived Leukemia.  It took alot out of him and he confided that he never wanted to go through chemo again.  He never seemed to have as much energy after that experience.  Nevertheless, he tended his orchard, cared for a prodigious vegetable garden and made countless doll cradles for his granddaughters.  Sometimes he found time to golf a few holes.

About a month and a half before he passed away, I had borrowed his pickup and was intent on returning it.  I called him up with the intent to return it and he began melodramatically describing his horrible golf day and claimed it was over, he could die now.  He went on and on, as he was wont to do.  So I asked rather innocently, "Does that mean I don't have to return your truck?"  He sputtered  a bit and said I needed to return it.  It was all in good fun, but as I look back there was a bit of self fulfilling prophecy at work.  A month an a half later he was dead and I ended up with the truck.

Dad didn't feel well that day, but he and Mom decided to go on an Alaskan cruise anyway.  Dad looked really unwell in the cruise pictures.  When they got back, Dad went to the doctor and found out that he had Melanoma, and it was all through him.  It was terminal.  All of us had always considered Dad to be an immortal, so it came as quite a shock to us when we found out he wasn't going to beat this one.

Dad was a quick study, though.  Once he found out he was terminal, he was ready to get on with it.  He went downhill really fast, and then he kind of leveled off for a few days as if he didn't know what to do.  He hadn't ever died before so he needed some direction.  They went to the oncologist again and the good doctor told them what to expect.  He also said it could take weeks or months to go through the next steps.  When he got home from the doctor's office, it was as if he said, "alright, now I have a script, I can get to work."

What the doctor said would take weeks or months for him to do took days and weeks.  At the very end, he leveled off again, and the hospice nurse came in and told us what to expect, and she said it could take days or weeks.  Once she gave him his next "script", it took him hours to finish the job.

I got a call on November 10th that the end was nigh and we needed to come and see him.  Halfway there, I told my wife, "Dad won't die today, he'll wait until tomorrow."  She thought I was ridiculous for saying that, but I explained that Dad's favorite play was "Seventh Heaven".  In a nutshell, it's about Chico and Diane, two lovers during WWI.  Chico goes to war and is presumed dead.  Diane tries to make do as best she can, but her evil sister tracks her down and starts to beat her and is going to sell her into prostitution, but then miraculously, on Armistice Day, November 11th, Chico returns, blinded but saves the day and casts the evil sister out.  I told her that Dad would wait until Armistice Day to die.  As a kid, I remember Dad pointing out every 11th of November that "on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, the armistice was signed".  It was an important day to him.

Dad stabilized, and we went home.  The next day, Armistice Day, my wife and I drove to Rigby to see him.  My family all gathered and at 11 O'clock we had a family prayer and my brother, Lloyd gave him permission to die.  After that I read him one of his favorite poems that he had read at countless funerals, Tennyson's "Crossing the Bar."  When I read the line, "I hope I meet my maker to his face when I have crossed the bar.", Dad squeezed my hand.  He still had a strong grip to the end.

He lingered throughout the day, and we took turns sitting with him.  Mostly he slept.  One time when I was in with him, he awoke and said he had had a dream.  I quizzed him about it and he indicated that someone in his dream was asking him to come with him.  He wasn't sure who it was.  About four O'clock in the afternoon,  my sister Paula ushered us all into the room and Dad was thrashing around on the bed.  He was saying over and over again, "I'm cold!  I'm so cold!"  My sister-in-law, Renee ran to the laundry room and got hot towels from the dryer and draped them on him which calmed him down almost immediately.  Then he got a surprised look on his face and proclaimed, "I'm dying.  I'm dying!  I have to go.  Let me go!"  Then he threw the covers off and started to crawl out of bed, reaching towards someone we couldn't see.  Mom and my brother Bruce both grabbed his hands and stroked them and told him it was okay, he could go.  We'd all miss him desperately, but he needed to go and they gave him permission to do so.  Dad settled back onto the pillow, took some deep breaths, sunk into the "death rattles" and passed from this life.

I told the oncologist this story and he told me that it was remarkable because people with cancer that far advanced usually can't feel temperature and at the end are usually unable to speak.  Of course it wasn't remarkable to me, because it was my Dad.  He lived extraordinarily and he died extraordinarily.  That was to be expected of him.  He died well.  Anyway, the oncologist said, "Gary, you don't understand.  Your Dad made and exit!"  And that was a great way to characterize that great actor's demise from this world.

When we organized the funeral, we decided to honor Dad by making the funeral one hour.  He always liked promptness when he directed a show.  My oldest sister, and my two brothers each gave speeches, my other sisters, the granddaughters and one of Mom and Dad's friends who is a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir all sang songs in between the speeches, and I also read four poems from Dad's favorite book of poetry in between the speeches.  The program looked like it would be a very lengthy funeral, but we honored him and kept it right to an hour.  Prior to the funeral, we told the bishop of their church, who was to preside over the funeral that if he wanted to say anything he could do it at the beginning of the service, but that we didn't want him to do so at the end.  We had it planned out to the last detail and didn't want him to ruin the climax (the Mormon Tabernacle Choir lady's solo) with some homespun platitudes.  He honored our wishes and it was a glorious funeral.  Since he was a WWII veteran, an honor guard from the Idaho National Guard gave him a 21 gun salute, and my nephew, Brett who was in the Marine Corps assisted in folding the flag and presented it to my mother.

I miss him.

Friday, June 4, 2010

The Best Two Days Ever!

Music has been very important to me for most of my life.  I'm a big fan of blues based rock.  I believe that for every emotion I have, I can find a rock song to express it.  While I was mid-life crisising, the song that was the most meaningful to me was "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who.  For some reason it resonated with me on many levels.  The obvious connection to the song is that I happen to have blue eyes, but that is really tertiary in the scheme of things.

"No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man,
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes"

(Pete Townshend)

For some reason that song was very meaningful to me in a dark time of my life.  I don't feel the need to analyze it here, I don't really wish to revisit it in that kind of detail.  Suffice it to say that it has personal meaning to me and I felt at the time that this song saved my life, or at least my soul.

My best friend is the world's greatest Rolling Stones fan.  He and I have been the best of friends since 1983.  I'll call him "Oss".  You know you have a best friend when you can go your seperate ways for six years and then reconnect and it feels as though no time has passed.  That's the kind of friend Oss is.

He and I both went to grad school, him in Denver, me in Minnesota.  After working in professional theatre back east for a number of years, I decided to move back west.  On the way back, I called Oss and told him we would be passing through Denver and wondered if we could crash at his place for the night, and spend the next day visiting before we left for our eventual home.  We ended up staying for a week.  We consider ourselves to be "twin brothers with different mothers".  It was a great time.  One of the strongest threads that bind the two of us together is our love of music.

For twenty years Oss had been trying to convince, cajole or demand that I went to a Rolling Stones concert with him.  I always had an excuse.  I didn't have the cash, I lived too far away, etc...  Anyway, in July of 2002, Oss called me up and said quite tersely, "Gary, the Stones are going to be in Denver on February 2nd.  I just bought you a ticket.  You owe me a hundred dollars!"

So I went to a Stones show. It was incredible.  They featured my favorite Stones album, "Let It Bleed".  My favorite Stones song is "Gimme Shelter" and they played that as well.  It was amazing.  After the show I told him, "You'll never have to convince me to see them again."  We've seen them twice since then.

The Who has been my favorite band since high school.  My first recollection of them was seeing concert footage of them on TV when Pete was bouncing all over the place and Roger, in his fringed vest was swinging the microphone around his body, tossing it in the air and catching it just in time to sing.  The show was great, but the music was solid as well.

Anyway, Oss and I saw The Stones in Salt Lake City on November 22nd, 2005 and then at the end of that tour they decided to add a half dozen dates in venues they had never played before.  One of those venues was Boise Idaho.  Oss found out about that and called me and we agreed it was historical and we had to do it.  We ponied up the cash and got our tickets.  About a week after we got the tickets, Oss called me up again and said, "I don't know what to tell you, Gary, The Who have just announced Salt Lake City the night before The Stones in Boise."

We agreed that we didn't think we could do both shows and left it at that.  A week later, Oss called me up again and said, "You don't understand, Gary, God will never give you The Stones and The Who on back to back nights again!  We have to do this."

About twenty years ago, I had purchased a bunch of silver bullion when the price of silver was around five dollars an ounce.  I figured it would be a good investment.  I checked into the metals market and found that the price of silver was up around fourteen dollars an ounce and decided to sell it so I could go to The Who as well as The Stones.  The lady at the coin store had a glut of silver because everyone wanted to sell right then, so she didn't want to buy mine.  I swung a deal with her that I'd take $1.50 below spot if she'd buy it.  She agreed.  I made a profit, she made a profit, I got to see The Who.  We could only afford the cheap seats, but at least we were going to be there.  Money well spent.

I picked Oss up at the airport and we went to The Delta Center.  The ticket troll looked at our tickets and said, "You'll have to go to portal UU."  I asked, "Is there anything wrong with my ticket?"  The troll said, "No, we're just going to upgrade your seat, that's all."

We went from nosebleed seats to some of the best seats in the house.  I was about thirty to forty feet away from the stage, at eye level.  In my opinion, the seats there were better than any of the floor seats except the front row.  I didn't have to look through anyone to see the band.

The Pretenders opened for The Who that night and when they played the song, "My City Was Gone" I felt like my eardrums were blistered from the guitar solo.  It was fantastic.  At the end of The Pretenders' set, I told Oss, "I don't care if The Who suck tonight, my money was well spent."  The Pretenders were so good, I didn't know how The Who would ever top them, but they did.

The Who played an incredible show, all their major hits from the beginning through "Who's Next" and then a few others.  They didn't hit anything from Quadrophenia, however which disappointed me.  They also didn't hit anything from Tommy during the show.  Then they left the stage and we expected them to come back on and do a couple of songs for an encore.  They came back and did a thirty minute mini version of Tommy! WOW!

Finally they ended up with an acoustic song from their last album, the song was "Tea and Theatre".  It was just Roger and Pete and an acoustic guitar.  It was an incredible way to end the show.  No way to chase that with something else.  After that we knew the show was over and it was time to go.

We drove all night and saw The Stones the next night in Boise.  The highlights of that show were an eleven minute version of "Midnight Rambler", and Keith sang, "You Got the Silver".  That one was very meaningful to me since I cashed in my silver to make the whole thing work.  Another "highlight" of that evening was when I was trying to use the Men's room and a bunch of women hijacked it. 

That was a great two days.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Musings of a Madman

This is my first attempt at a blog.  I haven't spent alot of time on other peoples' blogs, so I don't really know what the protocols are, so basically I'm going to make it up as I go.

I have many interests, many hobbies and many things that occupy my mind.  I don't know how to be bored.  What all this means is I might talk about Halloween on one post and my visit to see The Rolling Stones in Denver on the next.  Perhaps as I get more material I will find a way to organize it, but for right now, what you get is what you get.  I'm not sure I'm interesting enough for a blog, but I do know that I am geeky enough for one.

I have an M.F.A. in Scene Design for Theatre from Mankato State University (which has been changed to The State University of Minnesota at Mankato), a B.A. in Theatre with a dual major in Psychology From Brigham Young University, and an A.A.S in General Studies from Ricks College.  I currently teach Theatre at a private university somewhere in Idaho.

I have been married happily since 1984 and have sired six immediate offspring and am the proud grandpa of three little grandsons (as of 2009).  

My father, along with three other men, started The Playmill Theatre in West Yellowstone, Montana in 1964 so I grew up for four months of the year in Montana and eight months of the year in Idaho.  In the spring and fall, for two weeks each, we had to travel back and forth from Idaho to Montana because of school and work up in the theatre.  I remember knowing as a small boy that I was actually magic because I could go to sleep in my bed in Montana and wake up in my bed in Idaho.

In 1983 I was diagnosed with Giardia Lamblia even though the doctor who diagnosed me never found any of the flagellated protozoans in the uh, uhm, uh specimens I gave him.  I spent 26 years dealing with the after effects of that, until last summer I went to another doctor for a different thing and mentioned to him the plight of my guts and he ran some tests.  He found that rather than having a malevolent parasite lodged irrevocably in my bowels, I happen to be allergic to Milk, Soy, and Gluten.  I spent 26 years dealing with a stomach ache and all that goes with it (no need to be overly graphic here, you can imagine).  I have been gluten free since last July (2009) and have been mostly milk free since then (I will cheat on cheese, it seems the further processed it is the easier it is for my body to deal with it) and mostly soy free (I will cheat on chocolate a little, because I'm an addict, but not like it was before).  In addition to Milk, Soy, and Gluten, I am also allergic to Shellfish and Celery.  Celery of all things.  I am also Insulin Resistant, and I have High Cholesterol.  I ask you, what can I eat?  Everyone I talk to about my plight says I should eat vegetables.  I tell them that my food eats vegetables and I don't eat what my food eats.  I told the doctor I wasn't coming back because every time I saw him he took something else away from me.

I'll talk about me some more later.  I believe I'm tired enough to go to bed.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Dragon Book

The Dragon Book


(dragon book)


For my Wife's haunt this year, we decided to do a witches library.  She haunts inside, I haunt outside.  I thought every witches library ought to have a dragon bestiary, so I built the book, "Dragons and their Kin".  Since it is a dragon book, I thought it should be bound in dragon hide.  It's only natural. 
I have about 8 hours into this book.  Here's how I did it.



Step 1:  Design
All good props begin with good design before hand.  Preplanning helps avoid accidents, happy or otherwise.  Good design helps you predict the outcome.  Don't rely on serendipity to have good results.  Resolve as many problems as possible on paper before you ever committ to the build.  It will save you time and money.  I don't like happy accidents.



Step 2:  Tools and Materials

Tools:

  1. Scissors

  2. X-acto Knife

  3. Cutting Board

  4. Hot Glue Gun

  5. 2" Chip Brush (59 cents at Wal-Mart)

  6. Broken Hair Comb

  7. Ruler

  8. Pencil

  9. Sharpie Pen

  10. Painter's Masking Tape

  11. Crumpled up Paper Towels

  12. Very fine point Artist's Paint Brush

  13. Larger Paint Brush for burnishing metal leaf

  14. Ink Pen (black)
Materials

  1. Large Thrift Store Book with good binding

  2. Scrap of Illustration Board

  3. Sobo or other flexible craft glue

  4. Sticky Back Craft Foam

  5. Hot Glue Sticks

  6. Jaxsan 600 or ViCryl, or other vinyl or acrylic or latex mastic. (can be bought at paint store)

  7. Two semi contrasting colors of green spray paint. (I prefer Design Master, but it's about $8 a can)

  8. One can of Design Master "Glossy Wood Tone" Floral Spray Paint (CRITICAL)

  9. Jar of Metal Leaf Adhesive

  10. Metal Leaf (for this book I chose copper)

  11. Dark Brown Latex or Acrylic Paint

  12. Flat Sealer

  13. Gold Spray Paint


(a cheap thrift store book with good binding)
Click on the already large pictures for even larger ones!


Step 3:  Application

  1. First cut out and apply the title blocks for the front cover and the spine out of illustration board.  It's important to do this because it needs to be raised to compete with the craft foam.

  2. Apply the title block to the front cover, and one on the spine of the book with Sobo or other flexible craft glue.  Completely coat the illustration board with the glue, position it where you wish it and put weights on it until it dries.  It takes about an hour, give or take for the glue to be dry enough to work with.

  3. Begin cutting and preparing the Craft Foam

  4. First cut the foam into 2" strips, and then notch them every 1 to 1 1/2 inches with the scissors.

  5. Shape each scale with the scissors so they look unique and ragged.  (I wanted this to look like it came from an old battle scarred dragon.)

  6. With the point of an X-acto knife scratch the edges of the scales until they are jagged. (see picture below)

  7. Remove the paper backing and apply the craft foam to the bottom of the book.

  8. You can notch the bottom of the book where the cover shows through the gaps in the scales.  It's the little details like that that will make the book credible.

  9. Continue to add strips of foam until the book is covered.  Offset the rows so the scales "shingle". 

  10. It will be necessary to piece around the title block.

  11. There are places, especially around the spine and the edges of the book where you will need to hot-glue the foam into place.  Some of the scales may lift off, so a little dab of hot glue will make the difference there.


(foam cut and shaped)


(foam and illustration board applied, bottom of book notched)


(foam completed, note the half scales across the top)



Step 4:  Trim

  1. Trim around the title block with some fabric trim. (I used gimp)

  2. If you put a title block on the spine (and you should have) trim around that also.


(trimming the title block with gimp and hot glue)


(title block trim finished)



Step 5:  Substrate

This is one of the most important steps of all.  It will give you a uniform surface to paint on and may be the difference between a successful project and a so-so one.  DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP.

  1. Brush on the substrate of your choice.  (I prefer Jaxsan 600 or ViCryl, but any latex or acrylic mastic will work.  I don't use latex carpet adhesive because of the fumes and extremely long dry time)

  2. Brush the substrate on the title block in a cross hatch pattern and straight up and down on the scales.

  3. Use the large end of a man's hair comb and drag through the mastic while it's still wet and then soften with the paint brush.


(painting on the substrate)


(substrate finished)



Step 6:  Pre-Lettering 

  1. Theoretically you already have a title for your book.  Select a font that is appropriate for that book and lay out the type with pencil.

  2. Use light lines for the top and bottom and the tops of the shorter lower case letters.  Basically a top, middle and bottom.  Create a center line.

  3. Count the letters in your line and find the center.  If your title was "Madagascar", it has ten letters so your center line would be between the G and the third A.  You may need to fudge because the M is slightly bigger.

  4. Start in the center and then work your way out both ways.

  5. Start in pencil and then fill in with a Sharpie pen.


(lettering layout with Sharpie pen)


Step 7: Painting

  1. Tape off the title block with painter's tape.

  2. Spray two colors of green over the surface of the book.  It should look mottled or "scumbled" when you are done.

  3. Allow to dry.

  4. Spray a portion of the book with Design Master Glossy Wood Tone and immediately start daubing it up with a crumpled paper towel.  This will give the appearance of leather.

  5. Spray and daub until the entire surface of the book has been coated and it has reached the desired value.

  6. Be careful not to completely obscure the lettering.  It needs to show through this layer.


(two colors of green blended on book surface)


(if I could only have one color of spray paint in my paint kit, it would be Design Master: Glossy Wood Tone.  It is a transparent brown color that allows the original colors to show through and it flows before it dries unlike regular spray paint that practically is dry by the time it hits the surface)



(spray and daub, simultaneous action.  Careful not to get it on your hands, spray paint is toxic)


(sprayed and daubed)


Step 8:  Lettering Revisited

  1. Using metal leaf adhesive and a fine point brush, paint the lettering from the previous step. 

  2. This should be a thin coat.  You gain nothing by globbing it on.

  3. Allow to dry completely.  Metal leaf adhesive has an open time of about an hour, meaning you can work it for up to an hour after applying.

  4. Apply metal leaf by laying it over the prepared area and pressing it into the adhesive with a large soft but firm brush.

  5. Once the leaf is pressed into the adhesive you can get fairly rough with it as you push the excess away.  In fact you will need to get rough with it to clear the leaf out of the cracks and recesses in your letters.

  6. Use the large brush to burnish the metal leaf.

  7. Once the metal leaf is in place and burnished, ink around the edges of the letters with a small Sharpie pen or a black ink pen.  This helps the words pop.


(applying the metal leaf adhesive)


(pressing the copper leaf into the adhesive)


(revealing the letters through burnishing)


Step 9:  Schmutzing and final detail (unfortunately I don't have pictures of this step.  I left my camera at home.  Sorry)

At this point, the book is almost complete.  The problem now, is that it is too shiny.  The glare needs to be taken down a bit.  We do this by schmutzing. 

  1. Take down the shine from the metal leaf by over spraying with a little Glossy Wood Tone.  Not too much, just enough to make the metal leaf live in the same world as the rest of the book.

  2. Use some dark brown oops paint and a chip brush and paint haphazardly all over the book; front, back and spine.

  3. Immediately rinse off the brush in a pail of water and apply water to the book causing the paint you just applied to run and coat the book.

  4. Allow a few places in cracks and crevices to remain painted, but overall it should just be a wash or a glaze.

  5. Dry with a hair dryer or just allow to air dry.  (I like the hair dryer because I'm impatient)

  6. Cover the entire book with a flat sealer.  (probably not necessary, but I like the way it feels better than the oops paint wash)

  7. Open the book's covers, front and back and hold the pages together.  Gently bend them one way and spray the edges with gold spray paint.

  8. Bend them the other way and spray gold from the other side.  This will make the gold edge paper very rich.

  9. Do the same thing for the top and bottom of the pages.

  10. You are finished.

(the completed book)